Too Much Free Time

Too Much Free Time

by Mike Masnick


Filed Under:
michael jackson, patents, uspto



USPTO Fast Tracks Michael Jackson Patent Tribute

from the a-true-sense-of-urgency dept

theodp writes "They may drag their feet on things like the three-and-a-half-year-old Amazon 1-Click Patent Reexam, but the USPTO can put on their fast-shoes when they want to. For evidence of the agency's sense of urgency, just look at how quickly they put together an Exhibit of Michael Jackson's Patent and Trademarks. If you can't make it out to the USPTO Museum (and store) by Labor Day, you can check out Michael's expired-due-to-nonpayment-of-fees patent for a Method and Means for Creating Anti-Gravity Illusion online, and also see it in action in the video for Smooth Criminal (@7:16). BTW, Jackson's co-inventors also designed Michael's suit for his L.A. funeral."

14 Comments | Leave a Comment..

 
 

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  1. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 6:06am

    Wait..??..!! He used special shoes to defy gravity! I am shattered I thought he was special :(

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  2. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 6:58am

    Jesus

    by icon Dark Helmet (profile)

    "but the USPTO can put on their fast-shoes when they want to. For evidence of the agency's sense of urgency, just look at how quickly they put together an Exhibit of Michael Jackson's Patent and Trademarks"

    Ahhhhh, finally, a window of hope on the patent I need to trademark. Somebody find me Macaulay Culkin and Chris Tucker immediately! I figure a little Jesus Juice, a little pinky in the butthole, I little time playing MJ's favorite children's game -- Hug And Tickle -- and I'll have the USPTO at my fingertips...

    Attention, for the last damn time, Michael Jackson was a creepy fuck. For all of you claiming to be his biggest fans, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. SOMETHING VERY, VERY WROOOOOONG WITH YOU. Plus, for the love of God, he hadn't been talented since Joe stopped using the switch.

    That is all.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  3. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 6:59am

    Re: Jesus

    by icon Dark Helmet (profile)

    "patent I need to trademark"

    Haha, sometimes my idiocy amazes even me...

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  4. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 7:24am

    freaking punks

    by angry dude

    damn punks make our 200 years old patent system look like a joke

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  5. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 8:24am
    by interval

    Well, at least we can sleep at night knowing the patent office monkeys have their priorities strait.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  6. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 8:45am
    by icon Kevin Stapp (profile)

    I may be out in left field here but I'm pretty sure I saw a movie from the 40's or 50's where a guy leaned over to appear to defy gravity (Danny Kaye?) using anchor shoes. I'm also pretty sure I've seen stage magic acts that used similar techniques. Seems like prior art to me.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  7. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 8:53am
    by icon Peet McKimmie (profile)

    Danny Kaye's shoes were bolted down - that only works in a movie where they can stop the camera for a while as he gets prepped. What Jackson set out to patent was a system of hasps that could pop up from the stage floor in a way that he could engage his shoes to them "on the fly" during a live performance.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  8. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 9:11am

    Re:

    by Anonymous Coward

    Gene Kelly in (appropriately enough) "Anchors Aweigh" (though I'm sure the technique was used in other movies as well).

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  9. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 9:22am

    Re:

    by icon stat_insig (profile)

    Wait for Jesus to file water-walking-shoes and you will know he isn't special either.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  10. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 9:23am

    Re:

    by icon Kevin Stapp (profile)

    Even so, it Michael Jackson's invention a unique and non-obvious to those trained in the art? Seems like his invention is nothing more than a minor tweak on an age old stage technique.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  11. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 10:21am

    Re:

    by icon Jebrew (profile)

    He was, but somehow, the rest of the guys in the video had to do the same think as Mikey without his magic.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  12. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 9:01pm

    Suicide Watch

    by Joe

    I just received a patent a little over a month ago... after more than 5 years! They didn't even start looking at it until about 6 months ago.

    Good to know why the system is so slow for us regular schmucks.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  13. Jul 21st, 2009 @ 10:45pm
    by Anonymous Coward

    The absolutely astonishing thing about the whole Michael Jackson issue are the multiple parallels to other wrongful death lawsuits. Dr Cyril Wecht has a very interesting background, and his location in relationship to Los Angeles, at the date of Mr. Jackson's death is interesting to say the least.

    It's too familiar: Throw a big party, involve the media and pay for it using the estate's money. Then auction off the estate's assets at suppressed values. Next, allow the family to sue under the guise of "wrongful death", but eventually settle, only after the family has been vilified even more in the media. Next, paint the family as money grubbers. Vilify them some more in the media. Settle, but only after making the lawyers look like the good guy, repeating the fact that the family was written out of the will and trust, but settle only on condition of a lifetime gag order.

    Do this in tandem, while feeding entertainment stories based on rumors or hearsay about the family not living up to the departed's legacy.

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

  14. Jul 22nd, 2009 @ 12:16am

    Re:

    by Anonymous Coward

    My Favorite Dr. Cyril Wecht bedtime story was:

    http://www.amazon.com/Killed-Jonbenet-Ramsey-Onyx-Crime/dp/0451408713

    I was a little concerned about the very existence of this book. But there's a very odd pattern here. Cyril Wecht is involved in a lot of these types of issues.

    http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/showbiz/michael_jackson/412480/Michael-Jackson-murder-charges-in -days-Cops-hunt-Jacko-killer.html

    (reply to this comment) (link to this comment)

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